Celebrations are over, evidences are posted on Facebook walls, and Thank You cards have already reached their destinations. With only one field-trip, one staff party and 15 working days left to the finish line, I feel my anxiety rising. Everyone is reassuring me that, once I move and settle down in Cobourg, I'll be fine, but will I? Anxiety has always turned a deaf ear to reason and logic. I thought, better than putting the last period on the last report card of the last term, would be putting the last period on the last report card, period! Alas! My brain might be saying one thing, but my heart is singing the blues. I'm giving up the only thing that I was so good at, being a teacher. Why?
I'm not much of a traveller, looking after myself is not my forte, neither is helping others live their lives, like move to France and take care of my elderly mother or cook and clean for my son here. What exactly I'm going to fill up this hole with, more neurosis, guilt, self-loathing?
Anxiety is the worst! I think the best way to deal with it is to be active
ReplyDeleteIt's fear of the future -- but consider your options. Perhaps a book club, a hobby like photography or interior design? You have a fabulous eye Lili! Consider a trip to a place you always wanted to go -- do it after you get settled in Cobourg. Your retirement is a blank slate -- but you can fill it. Jot some interests down -- you have a lot to offer. Don't regret leaving TO! You knew it was the right choice months ago -- and the new life is now looming but don't let it.