The Last Dress-Rehearsal

Dear Friends,

Today, my students were exceptionally brilliant. After writing an instructional piece (how to put on a good show), in the morning, they backed up their words in the afternoon and staged an amazing show. It included comedy routine, song and dance.

They were focused, confident; punch lines on time, voices clear and expressive. They sang cheerfully and moved to the music flawlessly. I was very proud of them, and a bit proud of myself, too.  All the lectures, rehearsals and praises had paid off. The yelling hadn't been ineffective either! 

As my students’ peers applauded them enthusiastically, and my colleagues complimented me, I realized that I had just put on my last show!

Tonight, an unsettling question is gnawing at me; do I still belong with students?

Perhaps if the winter had been milder, my Christmas holidays happier and my Chi more fluid, I would’ve been less depleted. 
I have to accept that I don’t want to go, but I have to. Not because I’ve publicized my intentions, but because henceforward I have to put myself first. I just hope that I can make me as happy, as my students have managed to make me for 23 years!