Dear Friends,
Many moons ago when a
benevolent friend told me that I have a knack for continuously punishing
myself, I dismissed her psychoanalysis of me as preposterous! However, as June
draws closer, and my emotions are getting ready to go through so many changes, I
have no choice but to accept the validity of her statement.
Today (I can’t vouch for
tomorrow), I believe I’m mad, not mad crazy, but mad angry, not at the world,
but at myself!
Which self-loving creature
ends a career that has become her identity and leaves the city that has housed
her for thirty-some years, following her granddaughters relocation to New York!
What was I thinking! What
possessed me to believe that, removing myself from everything and everyone I
know and value, will be good for me. Why did I decide to put myself through so
many changes all at once? A lot is riding on this lake
that’s calling me! It better come through!
Although experts claim that,
“anger is emotionally intelligent” and “abets creativity and ambition,” I’m not
sure what to do with it. Unless, I use it to find out what crime I have
committed that repels forgiveness.
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