Let's Party!

Dear Friends,
Yes, I'm throwing myself a retirement party!
Being raised in glamorous diplomatic circle of autrefois, I always believed I was destined to throw elaborate parties! And I did, one or two, in my early twenties; however the Islamic Revolution cut short my aspirations — alas!
Since in Canada, the only noteworthy event that I organized, was my father's small, but tasteful memorial gathering, exactly 10 years ago. It was a black and white affair, catered by Daniel and Daniel.
Since I don't see anyone in the horizon, to throw me an elaborate funeral, I decided to throw myself a retirement party. I rather people celebrated my immaculate career with me, than my, at times not so pristine life, without me!
Although I'm a couple of thousand dollars short of my ideal retirement party, I'm still going out with some class! Let's hope everybody shows up; guests, bakers, caterers, servers, and the magician I've hired to dazzle my younger past and present students.
20 days left to my retirement party ........